Payphone
by TitansGirl
Summary: He loved her. He thought it was as simple as that. BBxRae One-Shot, Rated T for language.


**Author's Note:** Herro there! :D Here's another BB/Rae fic, but not as fluffy as some would like. This is set after the Titans disband, just so ya'll are clear. Also, this is meant to go along with the song "Payphone" by Maroon 5. Although I'm not a huge fan of songfics, I'll make an exception. :3 This follows a conversation Gar has with Raven after they break up. Mhmmmmm.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Teen Titans.

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Water soaked through Garfield's clothing as he struggled to walk through the increasing downpour from unfriendly skies. Gray clouds overhead roared with the clapping of thunder, the strength of a thousand gods seeming to enforce their fury. His footsteps splashing as he sloshed down the pavement, his eyes searched through the pelting raindrops for any familiar landmarks. Tall skyscraper buildings supplied an enclosed and vacant appearance to the city as they tickled the tops of the sky, leaving rifts where clouds were supposed to reside. Tugging his trenchcoat closer to his shivering form, the man in his late twenties cursed softly to himself.

"Son of a bitch…" Around him was almost the sort of cold that hurt. He could feel the breeze and the sleet fill the pockets of his coat, blowing wind through his long hair in dire need of a trim. It was painful to walk forward but he knew no other way. He wasn't lost, he was simply wandering. In circles, lines, whatever—nothing mattered to the green shapeshifter anymore. Empty. Painful. They weren't rich with any particular meaning and held nothing of significance. Emotions were a bother to feel, so many of them swimming around in his head. Squinting his eyes closed, he muttered slow, insignificant nothings. "Damn, needed a warmer shirt. Stupid, I don't even…" As water soaked through his tan coat, regret seeped in along with it as it tainted the edges of his thin T-shirt, teasing the clammy skin of his chest and neck. Bringing his ungloved hands up, the edges of his long clawed nails scraped his neck roughly when he drew his collar up to cover his neck. Growling softly, he looked around, finally pausing his forced steps into a slight falter, to figure a way out of the maze he was trapped in. Emerald eyes narrowing, he looked towards the other side of the street and immediately felt his stomach clench.

Longing resounded deep in his heart. His feet moving on their own accord, he looked both ways across the fast-moving street and dashed across it in between speeding cars. Puddles lapped at his ankles and soaked through his light jeans. Making his way over to the simple metal box he pulled a deep breath through his lungs and rested his hand on the plastic payphone in front of him. Impulsively he began to dig deep into his pockets for a quarter. Swearing, he came back empty handed.

"Of all the times to be out of friggin' change." Whipping his head back and forth, he desperately looked for anyone on the street. Rain pelted down reminding him that it would be unlikely anyone would be around. But nonetheless he looked, spying a woman walking with a small child at least a block away, umbrella swaying in the harsh breeze.

Taking off in a mad sprint, Gar made his way to the lady, hands clenched into fists at his side. Wind whistled through his ears as he picked up his pace. Heart thudding in his chest and blood pumping faster, he arrived in front of her, turning with a desperate look on his face. The woman looked at him equally as bewildered, drawing her red-haired child closer to her side. Her blue eyes starred at him quizzically until he spoke in a gasping rush.

"I'm so sorry to bother you ma'am, but do you happen to have a quarter you could give me?" He shot her a never-failing grin, his face bright with sincerity. Tensing, the woman shook her head in a tight manner.

"Sorry, but no." Her voice was final, but still, the boy protested.

"Please, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I need to use a payphone and call my girlfriend. That's all—really." Regardless of it seeming demeaning, he begged her. His tone was pleading and relentless. He _had _to use that phone. He just had to hear her voice. Relenting, the woman sighed and rummaged around in her purse with her free hand.

"Alright, here." She dropped two silver coins in the dripping palm of Gar's waiting green hand, seeming only slightly turned off by his unusually colored skin.

"Thanks so much!" He exclaimed, giving the woman and her daughter a wave before taking off at a jaunty dash back to the phone. Placing his hand back on the wet plastic he was suddenly scared. His stomach twisted in knots and his hands began to turn clammy from not only the rain but perspiration as well. Droplets of water dripped into his eyes and he blinked them out with a nervous twitch. Ripping a huge birth of courage from his reserves, he inserted one of the quarters into the machine and heard it begin to ring. He didn't expect his breath to be taken away when she answered but when her voice came through the receiver, he was at a loss for words.

"_Hello?" _Raven spoke with her usual clipped monotone she still harbored after all the years. A small smile crept onto Gar's lips as he looked adoringly onto the speaker of the phone as if she was right in front of him. Feeling small and cowardly, his mouth went dry as he tried to manage any kind of syllable. _"Hello? Is anyone there? I'm going to hang up now."_

"No, wait! Rae, it's me." He finally managed when he could almost anticipate the click of the dial tone. He couldn't waste the only chance he had to talk to her. No, he had to make the best of this. There was a pause at the other end of the line and for a second he feared she was going to hang up the phone anyway.

"…_Gar?"_ She repeated, incredulous.

"Yeah." He said stupidly. Even after all the years they'd known each other, he still felt completely ignorant around her. He couldn't do anything but babble like an idiot, even at 29 years old. He heard the girl draw in a long breath on the other end.

"_Gar, why are you calling me?"_

"I just…" Feeling completely lame, he twirled the plastic cord around on his index finger. His tongue felt like it was swelling up, but he still managed a choked, "I miss you." He was rewarded with nothing but silence. "Please, Rae, I miss you so much."

"_Yes, I can tell."_ She said matter-of-factly.

"…Do you miss me, too?" Garfield pressed her harder. His ears strained for an answer—the one he so badly wanted to hear.

"_Don't start this, Garfield. Just don't. You're going to end up somewhere you won't like, and you're just going to hurt yourself in the end."_

"Dammit! You always say that! For once in my life, could you just give me a straight answer?" He exploded, his fist connecting with the hard wet metal of the phone holder. Hearing a crackle on the other end of the phone, he heaved a deep breath, cold air puffing around his lips. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated."

"_No reason to yell at me. But you're angry with me, so I suppose it's to be expected." _Her voice was flat and emotionless. The detached quality it held ate away at the insides of the dejected boy as he leaned against the silver pole, hoping he had more time left to talk to the girl.

"Okay, I'm not as angry as I am sad. Please, Rae, I'm begging you. Answer me. Do you miss me? Even just a little bit?" He hated himself for the whiny and cowardly way he was speaking but he couldn't help it. She was driving him crazy, and he couldn't live the same way he was now. Going every day wondering if she was thinking about him.

"_Whether I miss you or not has no bearing on what happened 3 weeks ago. I broke up with you, we're not together anymore, end of story. These calls aren't helping anyone, and I can't expect that they do much good for you." _

"I just want to hear your voice, Rae! That's exactly it—I don't want it to be over and I can't believe that you—"

"_Gar, please, Gar. I understand, I'm hearing you. But the relationship wasn't good for either of us. I would only end up hurting you in the end. At least this way we can end things amicably." _

"Fuck that, I don't care! I love you and I want to be with you!" Now the boy's tears were mixing in with the rain as moisture streaked down his face. The corners of his mouth turned down in a frown. Sensations began to burn in the corners of his eyes and it felt as if someone was tearing the insides of his stomach away with a razor. He wanted to double over from the pain of it all. "I love you, Raven. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" There was another pause as he felt a lump growing in his throat. He was so choked by his tears he could barely manage another word.

"_If you're trying to prove something to yourself I don't think that this is necessarily the way to do it."_

"Oh for the love of—for once just realize I'm being genuine. I know I screwed up and I didn't take things seriously enough. It was all my fault. Everything was my fault."

"_Stop blaming yourself, your self-pitying is disturbing. You didn't screw up, things just didn't work out. We've talked about this before, you really need to stop calling me. I told you when I took my things back to my apartment we were finished and that contact should cease for a while, but you're not respecting that. Why do you keep calling?"_

"Why do you keep taking my calls?" He shot back, a boost of fury fueling his frustration.

"_Because when I don't you'd just leave messages on my machine. There's no point in this. What's the real reason you keep calling?"_

"I just…like to hear your voice. You don't understand how empty my life is without you. Talking to you is a reflex, it's automatic. We were together for 4 years, you don't just forget about that in 3 weeks. _I _can't just forget about that in 3 weeks." A sigh sounded on the other line."It's killing me, Rae." He whispered quietly before she could respond. "It's like you're slowly sucking the life out of me. You're my everything." Tears fell down his cheeks faster and in large droplets. As they dripped into his mouth he noticed the bitter salty taste they harbored.

"…_I'm so sorry, Gar. I need time. Please, I can't…" _There was a pause again, and he heard the girl draw in the same shaky breath she did before she began to cry. He knew her well enough to notice the slight patterns, the smallest mannerisms of hers, and he couldn't help feeling overwhelming guilt knowing he was torturing her like this. _"I can't talk to you right now because it hurts. It hurts too much, Gar."_

"But it doesn't have to! We could—"

"_No, don't argue with me. If you love me, you'll give me time." _Head dropping to his chin, Garfield clenched his fist by his side, wet fabric of his jeans balling up.

"Okay." He muttered begrudgingly.

"_Thank you, Gar. And…I'm sorry. For everything that happened."_

"Me too, Rae, me too."

"_I'm going to hang up now."_

"Wait, I just…" He paused, drawing in a final unstable breath. "I know I agreed to give you time, and I want you to know I'll give it as much time as it takes. You're it for me, Rae. You're my forever." There was a slight gasp—nearly undetectable—before there was the empty click of the dial tone in Garfield's ear. He stopped for a minute, head hung, defeated. Placing the phone back in the hook, he looked back up at the stormy sky.

Opening up his palm, he saw the other quarter the woman gave him, and took another look at the payphone. Shaking his head, he pocketed the coin and started down the street.

…_I'm at a payphone trying to call home  
All of my change I spent on you  
Where have the times gone  
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?_

_If happy ever after did exist_  
_I would still be holding you like this_  
_All those fairytales are full of shit_  
_One more fucking love song and I'll be sick…_

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**A/N:** So I hope you all liked that!

And I have a proposition for you guys, since I've been into doing one-shots lately. If you feel so inclined, leave a review or send a PM my way with any of the following (or all, if you like): featured character/pairing/genre/situation. And I will write a one-shot for ya'. I'll only do 1 or 2, but I may keep the lists and do the others at some point. So, yay! Review away! Thanks so much for reading! ^.^


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